Unpopped Kernels

10 Nov

Just a couple of things rattling around;

At some point I’m sure I’ll want to touch on one of my passions, which is football. Or should I say American football? While that sounds like some kind of lefty, europhile play for approval, I think it really does a much better job of describing the essence of the game to call it American football. I believe football is the great metaphor for our nation. It displays our most admired spiritual  charachteristics, demonstrates the marvel that is our brains and bodies.

American football epitomizes the virtue of sacrifice. On the professional level, it even mirrors our politics and the balance we try to strike between individual freedom and social collectivism.

But enough for now, I’ve got more meat for that bone, but we’ll get to it later on.

———————————————————————————————————————–

“That juice isn’t worth the sqeeze.” A member of Mitt Romey’s GOTV effort told the media when asked what he thought of the Obama campaign’s college campus outreach in Ohio, which included live bands rockin’ it while buses loaded kids up to go vote!

“That juice isn’t worth the squeeze.”

I hope this anonymous campaign hack is haunted by this quote. Forever.

——————————————————————————————————————-

Notice how every other new cable drama series theme song seems to be built around a swampy, throaty dobro slide guitar lick?

———————————————————————————————————————

Charles Krauthammer is bat shit crazy. He wrote in the Washington Post that his party’s problem isn’t opposing abortion even in the case of rape or the life of the mother, but rather talking about it…..indelicately. Just be a little more genteel when telling a woman that being raped was God’s plan for her life. Speak softly and don’t forget to put your hands in your lap and sink your shoulders so you look like you feel her pain.

———————————————————————————————————————–

Tim Tebow was voted most overrated by his fellow players for the second time….this season!

Jesus, I mean Geez, that’s got to hurt!

Thing is Timmy is the perfect hybrid of a high motor, low skill H back, and a bad quarterback.

His success in the NFL reminds me of Tom Matte. Tom was a slow footed halfback whose only other fault was he was not that big. He was the Baltimore Colts emergency quarterback, and when injury struck and he was the only man left standing, he rallied his team and led them to a playoff for a berth in the NFL Championship game. He lost, but it was thrilling.

Timmys done that, also. And now the arc of his career is taking on that of Tom Matte. Only Tom Matte eventually got back on the field as the Colts utility back. I don’t think Tebow will see the field much unless it’s because of injury. And I don’t see any success there.

Tebow Time becomes Outta Time before you know it.

———————————————————————————————————————–

I remember a kid in about the seventh or eighth grade telling us about his crazy cousins that had visited over the weekend. “They don’t believe in dinosaurs or cavemen. They said there’s no dinosaurs or cavemen in the Bible. If it’s not in the Bible, it didn’t happen!”

We all laughed, having learned about fossils in school. We were just kids, what did we know.

———————————————————————————————————————–

Saw the photos of Paula Broadwell, the biographer and confidante of Gen. Dave Petraeus. The General’s wife is an accomplished woman named Holly.

I’d like to speak directly to her;   Ma’am, I saw the picture of the woman who slept with your husband and ruined his career, and I must say……….

………..Are You Blind!?! Did you see the woman travelling around with your husband? C’mon, nobody should trust their husband with a woman like that! It isn’t natural!

Ladies, if you’re suspect your husband may be sleeping with a woman but you don’t want to confront him cuz, ya know, you may be batshit, there is an easy test. You get the woman’s picture and look in her eyes.

If her eyes say “Of course, I’m fucking him!” then you know.

Don’t believe me, get out a celebrity magazine and look at the picture of any actress or model that’s been involed in a high profile affair.

See. Told you.

Advertisements

4 Responses to “Unpopped Kernels”

  1. Pruitt November 10, 2012 at 6:00 am #

    Charles Krauthammer and I both studied Poli Sci at McGill University. The country is grateful that he left.

    • Larry Kuran November 10, 2012 at 4:01 pm #

      That’s not enough Pru, you need to keep him out. Build the damn fence!

      • Pruitt November 14, 2012 at 4:42 pm #

        We don’t need a fence to keep him out of Canada. Whenever someone spouts extremist views up here they are ignored to such an extent that they leave the country in search of rubes to support them.

  2. Larry Kuran November 14, 2012 at 6:10 pm #

    Alright, rub my nose in it why don’t cha? Somewhere deep in the Canadian psyche, the flat-earth gene is buried…watching and waiting…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: