The Great Florida Yardsign War

9 Nov

It was a sight to behold! All over my SWFlorida hometown, Romney Ryan signs abounded. The Obama Biden signs were few and far between, like pitiful weeds in a luxurious garden of flowers.
I heard famous Reagan speechwriter Peggy Noonan comment about the landscape of my state upon returning to New York from a trip to Sarasota. (Peggy’s like 86, so she was probably in Sarasota visiting her mother.)
Mitt could not lose, you must believe it if you see it with your own eyes!
Your own eyes! Your own lyin’ eyes.
You begin to understand how on Tuesday night as the clock struck 9, normally his bedtime, Mitt Romney was gut punched by the realization of the unthinkable.
Something he was assured could not happen.
He was going to lose!
He was going to lose, and he was going to lose big. Barack Obama was going to become a historical figure, not just the first black President, but a President who had endured great travail at home and abroad, who’d taken on odds of reelection that weren’t beaten since FDR. Who’d put up with unprecedented disrespect, unprecedented obstruction, in a time of historically bad economic headwinds. He was going to lose to a man that he judged to be his inferior in every way. A man who had less wealth, none of the right friends, a man that had one less degree from Harvard, a man who didn’t ever have a place on Lake Winnepefuckingsaukee? And he was one of those people.
How could that be? The signs, hadn’t they seen the signs?
Apparently not. Because while Romney Ryan set about to win the yard sign war, Barack Obama set about to win the election.
Mitt took the field with Babe Ruth’s glove and Honus Wagner’s worldview, directed an offense designed by Knute Rockne, and got his heinie waxed.
Hint from Heloise; you can go down to Home Depot and buy some spraypaint in a can that works on plastic. Clean your Romney Ryan sign with mild detergent, and after drying spray white. It’s then ready to use the Jumbo Sharpie on…

Yard Sale. Where you sell the tired old stuff that takes up space to people that don’t know better.


2 Responses to “The Great Florida Yardsign War”

  1. Mary Lou November 9, 2012 at 10:39 pm #

    I loved reading this!!! Put a smile on my face!! thanks for sharing your thoughts!!! Keep up the good work!!

    • Larry November 10, 2012 at 1:53 am #

      Thanks ML. I really enjoyed putting down my thoughts. Check back next week, I’ll probably be contradicting myself thoroughly. That’s the only bad thing about this, once you hit send, it’s out there and you can’t take it back. They need to come up with some kind of St Christopher app for blogging. Safety on the information superhighway.

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